...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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