Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
