your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
