Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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