Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
