Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
