rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
4 words: hood of his car
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
