I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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