this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
