That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
