I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i barfeds in our rink
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
