Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
operation have a gay friend backfired
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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