Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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