I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
