i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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