You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
