I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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