I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
