I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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