I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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