Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Randomize
