I love black thongs
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we're making bets on your personal life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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