Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
