We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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