You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
