we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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