I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
