Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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