so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
