how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't think brook has ever known best
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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