I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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