so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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