I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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