How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
