the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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