You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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