If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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