And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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