Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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