I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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