I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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