Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
