stop calling my apartment porn island.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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