Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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