Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
