zippers are such a cool invention
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
how does that bad decision feel?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
