Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
