she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
