In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
