I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
