it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
