I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
