Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
