How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
